Bond #22 - Moonraker

Today, we're launching the James Bond Project with what I believe to be the least successful Bond film to date. It's Bond's 11th adventure...


. . .AS IAN FLEMING'S JAMES BOND 007: Roger Moore

SETUP: A specialized US space shuttle called the Moonraker is loaned to the British Government, but then hijacked en route over the Atlantic Ocean. MI6 dispatches secret agent James Bond to locate the craft.

BUT IN REALITY: The shuttle's billionaire developer, Hugo Drax (Michael Lonsdale), is a madman with a private city floating in orbit and an entire fleet of Moonrakers. Drax stole his own shuttle when one of his private ships developed a flaw, leading to complications in his master plan. Drax schemes to wipe out the human race with a deadly nerve gas, and then repopulate with a select group of genetically perfect specimens. Bond objects and destroys Drax's space city, taking the time to send Drax out an airlock without a suit.


VILLAINOUS DISFIGUREMENT: Drax is free from the scars or mutations typically found on a Bond villain, although with his short, lumpy frame, if his plan had succeeded, he would have instantly become the ugliest man in the world.

THE MUSCLE: Drax briefly employs Chang, a dim-witted Chinese manservant who tries to kill Bond with kendo stick in a glass museum. When Bond rightly dispatches him, Drax puts out an ad for a new henchman and hires Jaws (Richard Kiel), making his second and final appearance in this film after surviving The Spy Who Loved Me.


The story of Jaws is one of Moonraker's more memorable bits. Fans loved the guy and drowned the producers with mail, prompting a decision that Jaws should fall in love and have a change of heart. By the end of the movie, Jaws is solidly on the good team.

BOND GIRL AND FEMME FATALE: Bond hooks up with Dr. Holly Goodhead (oof), a research scientist with Drax industries, who also cashes secret paychecks from the CIA. While searching for information on Drax, Bond also briefly dallies with Corinne Dufour, the billionaire's personal pilot. Drax turns her into kibble for his dobermans when he discovers her double-cross.

Arguably the most famous of the ladies in the film is Blanche Ravelec as Dolly, the Swiss Miss tourist who falls for Jaws in Rio and gives him a reason to switch sides and join Bond.

“PAY ATTENTION, 007”: Q supplies Bond with a wrist launcher using an assortment of armor piercing and poison tipped darts. The gadget comes in handy when Bond needs to escape a deathtrap in a centrifuge chamber and later when coaxing Drax into a waiting airlock.

MOST EMBARRASSING CULTURAL MOMENT: The film exists solely to cash in on the success of another star-bound franchise. A different Bond movie was in preparation when Star Wars struck oil at the box office. Producer Cubby Broccoli scrapped the original project and pushed Moonraker into production to jump on board the space craze.


BOND'S BEST ONE-LINER: “Play it again, Sam!” He delivers it after putting Chang through a piano.

WORTH MENTIONING: Bond strangely goes the entire film without firing his signature Walther PPK. . . . The only line Jaws gets to speak in either of his Bond movies comes near the end of this film - “Well, here’s to us.”. . . . The movie shares almost nothing in common with the original Ian Fleming novel, leaving plot and character names free to be lifted for the Pierce Brosnan entry, Die Another Day.

OVERALL: Moonraker is a prime example of a movie that rocked my socks when I was a kid, but just doesn't work for me anymore. James Bond movies are fantasy films. There is no realism here, by definition, and there's nothing wrong with that. Bond can literally do anything and go anywhere. He's a superman, and that's a large part of his lasting appeal. But then, somehow, in Moonraker he went too far. The sight of Bond brandishing a laser beam may have been exciting for 1979 audiences – the film was the all-time Bond box office champion until Goldeneye – but Moonraker lost its grip on Bond's reality and the franchise had to work overtime to get the character's credibility back, downshifting next to the straight-faced For Your Eyes Only


The real problem with Moonraker is that when it isn't indulging in outright absurdity, it's aggressively dull. Bond takes his time putting together a case on Drax, and even the film's few highlights (such as the entertaining glass museum fight between Bond and Chang) aren't enough to give the story the momentum it needs. For the most part, the movie just sits there on the screen, as if the very presence of both science and fiction is enough to generate a great science-fiction film. Worst of all, several key action sequences are stolen from other, much better, films. The final space battle between Drax's army and the marines is nearly a shot-for-shot remake of the underwater climax in Thunderball, and a sequence where Bond uses a shuttle laser to destroy rogue satellites feels like a direct lift from the Death Star escape in Star Wars. There's no inspiration here, no enjoyment, and it absolutely feels like a paycheck film for everyone involved. Bond has had his fumbles, but he's rarely been this dead in the water.

Thankfully, Roger Moore's best Bond films were still ahead of him.

The James Bond Project

21. ???

22. Moonraker

Hollywood Project #3 - James Bond

He's a hollow, rusted-out dinosaur and a dynamic literary presence. He's a bawdy womanizer and a haunted romantic. He always has a joke. He takes life seriously. He's a pop-culture footnote and a freshly relevant hero. He embodies, directly or indirectly, the changing landscape of the last 50 years, but is today just as he was in the sunny days of Kennedy's Camelot.

In other words, James Bond doesn't make much sense.

My relationship with Ian Fleming's creation dates back to muggy Saturdays in Atlanta and the TBS Superstation. Bond movies were a fixture on the channel. For years it seemed as if the only broadcasts Ted Turner could afford were Braves games and Moonraker. Sometimes, when the stars aligned, the channel would open up the James Bond library and unleash its signature 7 Days of 007, and then, my friends, the shit was on.


I had my first exposure here to Sean Connery's dry wit and Roger Moore's smarmy masculinity. I also developed an affinity for the James Bond formula, that potent script of events forming the structure of any good Bond tale. The sneering villains and doomsday weapons were interchangeable. Useless, really. All that mattered to my young mind was that the movie played the right notes. Pre-credits action sequence. Titillating opening theme (with a song named for the movie, of course.) The set-up. The Q sequence. Some chases. Capture. Villainous monologue. Escape from the death trap. Huge final action sequence. Make out session with the sultry supermodel. Credits, with the promise that “James Bond will return...” It was comfortable and reliable and packed full of traditional childhood thrills. If '30s kids had adventure serials and '50s kids had cowboy shows, the children of the '80s could look to James Bond.

I discovered much later that many Bond movies flat stink, but I remain fascinated with the films and the character. I guess that Bond movies have become a sort of cinematic comfort food for me, the way that my aging stepfather never passes up an episode of “Gunsmoke” or Pride of the Yankees. Put any Bond movie into my DVD player, even the silliest ones, and I'll lose my next two hours. And that's where things get strange.


What in the world do I see in the series? Enough with the warm and fuzzy recollections, these movies are irresponsible at the best of times, and blatantly offensive at the worst. James Bond was born in the era of "Mad Men" attitudes, where aggressive misogyny seemed the way to a woman's heart and racism was as casual as a backhanded compliment. As the series marched through the Roger Moore era, these dark traits in the character intensified and, worst of all, were played for laughs, leading to a profound crisis of conscience that nearly derailed the franchise altogether as it entered into the “sensitive” '90s. The self-loathing on display in Goldeneye, otherwise a solid entry in the series, is shocking. Even today, the franchise struggles with its deeper meaning and long-term future as it steals from other action movies that, frankly, owe their very existence to Bond. The individual movies can be dismissed as easily as a single piece of popcorn from a bag, but the series is a unique phenomenon in the history of the movies and hides some deeper truths about audiences, pop-culture, and the changing attitudes of the last half-century of American life. Not bad for a fictional Brit.

By now you will have realized that I'm cheating. The Hollywood Projects has a mission to chronicle the work of important or interesting film directors, and the James Bond series has hosted no less than 10 (as of this writing.) The answer to your burning question, assuming you've asked it, is that James Bond is one of those rare characters that transcends the director involved. Certainly, one can tell a John Glen Bond movie from a Guy Hamilton if they keep very close watch, but James Bond backs a dump truck of baggage up to the set, leaving a director very little room to maneuver. The Broccoli family, keepers of the Bond film legacy, understand this and intentionally seek out directors who can work within the Bond formula to produce a satisfying adventure. No auteurs allowed. For this reason, I think of Bond as his own director, calling his own shots. A James Bond Project is only natural.

Some ground rules going in: As usual, we're counting up from the Bond movie I believe to be the least successful, meaning we'll jump in and out of sequence until we hit the one I believe to be the best. I'll work to put each film into context in regards to the time period and social conditions surrounding the movie, as well as any significant character moments as it relates to the overall series. For this countdown, I'm only looking at the 22 “official” Bond movies. The '60s spoof Casino Royale is not eligible, nor is the rogue '80s debacle Never Say Never Again. I'm not fond of either film, so if you must know where they'd stand on the countdown, just pencil them in at the bottom.



As an added treat, I'll be capping this Project with a James Bond vodka martini, shaken not stirred.

Obviously, that's an added treat for me. I'll take a picture.

(Note: The James Bond Project is complete. Please enjoy the links below, which will take you through the entire Project, a film at a time.)

The James Bond Project

1. Goldfinger

2. From Russia with Love

3. Casino Royale

4. Goldeneye

5. On Her Majesty's Secret Service

6. Tomorrow Never Dies

7. Octopussy

8. The Spy Who Loved Me

9. Thunderball

10. Dr. No

11. For Your Eyes Only

12. The World is Not Enough

13. Live and Let Die

14. Licence to Kill

15. The Living Daylights

16. You Only Live Twice

17. Quantum of Solace

18. Die Another Day

19. The Man with the Golden Gun

20. Diamonds are Forever

21. A View to a Kill

22. Moonraker

A Year and a Day

Well, fart.

I couldn't have guessed when I stepped away from this blog that I would be an entire year from revisiting it. Yikes. In the time since my last post, I have traveled north, taken a job writing for video games, and been a part of the team behind the release of two major projects. In addition, I've been a father to my two wonderful children, a partner to my amazing and awesome girlfriend, I've traveled, and I've gained between 10 and 15 pounds.

What I'm trying to say is that I've been busy. Still, no excuse.

Let's call this a remake. No, scratch that. A reboot. Wait, wait! Even better. A reimagining. I waited specifically for this date to restart content, to try and capitalize on the natural marketing that comes with this one year anniversary (give or take a day) of the moment The Hollywood Projects went dark. I'm expecting a huge opening weekend, and big bucks on the international rights.

The James Cameron and Jim Henson projects will remain on the site here, but we're going to start up a brand new project. No, it's not the one I hinted at in that last little video post, but that's still in the mail. I decided to try something a little lighter and friendlier for our return.

If you have this on your RSS feed, be on the lookout for new articles every Monday and alternate Thursdays. I hope you'll stick around, comment, read, critique, and have fun.

The Hollywood Projects: Part II. The adventure begins.... now!